From the dogs: Daddy is torturing us!

This is Jupiter. Don’t let daddy know I’ve taken the laptop and I’m writing this plea.
Daddy pulled out the comb and brush from his secret hiding place. Cinco and I know what the means, so we are hiding in the aft cabin. Maybe he won’t find us here! Oh no, I hear the floor boards creaking. Which one of us is he going to take first. I hope it is Cinco (but don’t tell him). Yes, daddy just grabbed Cinco and took him up front.
I can hear Cinco making noise and daddy is talking about Matt and Tangle and how we need to stop playing with them. I’m so scared. I wish I had the cell phone, then maybe I could call my friends, or the SPCA, the Vet, or even the 9 1 1 people. I’m so scared, Help.
I hear Cinco shaking. He is running back to see me. Oh, poor Cinco, he looks so fluffy and he is clearly upset. Shhh! If I’m really quite, daddy might not find me. Shhh! I’m shaking so much, he is going to hear my bones chatter. Oh no, I hear the floor boards creaking and daddy is coming my way. OH NO, PLEASE HELP! NO! NOT ME!
I made it! He let me go after lots of combing. It is so horrible, he starts brushing my legs, and I have to extend them completely, it feels so good, but I HATE it, but it feels so good, but I hate it. I tried to get away several times, but I’m no match for daddy. He just grabs my legs and flips me back upside down on the sofa. He combed every inch of me and I hated every bit of it, but it really feels so good.
It won’t be long and I’ll be in trouble again, I heard him say, “rub-a-dub-dub-schnauzers-in-the-tub!!!” OH NO, he is going to haul me into the torture chamber that squirts hot water in the scary front part of my yacht! He does this every time! I HATE THIS. It is just a second stage to the overall torture he puts us through every couple of weeks. Please help me! Please help Cinco! Please call my friends to help!
Darn, here he comes, I have to hide. BRB (i hope).
Oh the torture, daddy squirted me down with hot water and then rubbed me down with baby wash. He rubbed ever inch of my body, I hate it, but it feels so good! The he washed me down with lots of hot water and pulled a fuzzy thing out and began to rub it all over me. When he was done, he opened the door so I could run as fast as possible and shake my head. Now i’ve made it back to the aft cabin where I can report on how Cinco and I are being abused. This has to stop! Mini-schnauzers should be protected from this behavior.
Oh, wait, I hear something! It sounds familiar. It sounds like, like, like the TREAT JAR!!! Yes, it is, it s the TREAT JAR ... BRB
Yum, peanut butter TREATS!!! I LOVE them. I can still taste ‘em in my mouth. I feel so good and fluffy. I even smell good.
Now where was I. Hmm. I don’t remember.
Oh well, I really love my life on the yacht! I think I’m going to get to sleep in daddy’s bed tonight. That usually happens when Cinco and I smell like this. Life is good.